Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"even in the dark"

Not my words - but they resonated enough to want to share:
Even in the Dark 
To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken. 
Seldom seen, growing along the ocean floor, the white-plume anemone is a watery blossom. It is white lace opening under tons of black, opening as if bathed in the sun, while so far from the sun. 
This is the trick to staying well, isn’t it? : to feel the sun even in the dark. To not lose the truth of things when they go out of view. To grow just the same. To know there is still water, even when we are thirsty. To know there is still love, even when we are lonely. To know there is still peace, even when we are suffering.
None of this invalidates our pain, but only strengthens our way back into the light.
~Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
Thank you to my yoga instructor who shared this tonight during hot yoga... Something I *absolutely* recommend to combat the cold outdoors.

Strength and hope to each of us searching for light in the dark <3

Saturday, January 18, 2014

This Must Be the Place


I find myself in disbelief of where my life is right now. The current state of affairs is not a crazy stretch of the imagination, but it's still so far ahead of where I would have counted on years ago - and I'm just... so... proud.

I'm in love, and he's exactly what I needed. He's smart and successful and funny and handsome and caring and kind and gentle and loving and adventurous and worldly and open-minded and brave.  

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I've Lost a Few People Along the Way

I’ve lost a few people along the way...  Not on purpose, to be sure.  I’m a no-man-left-behind kind of girl – yet somehow there are people I have lost, in clear and definite ways.  All involved tearful partings, but truly, most losses were for the best.  Yet every now and then a story surfaces that conjures their name to my life and a pang of absence will hit me from out of nowhere.  Dear friends of yore… One moment we were walking down the same path in the woods, and the next moment our paths diverged.  

I don’t want to be a girl who burns bridges, but sometimes they just catch flame.  Lightning strikes.  A cow kicks over a barrel which in turn knocks over a lantern.  Acts of God as they say.  Or maybe just acts within us that needed to come out in some volatile way.  I’m not sure...

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Shots Heard 'Round the World

It’s funny.  You’d think I’d be one of the super anti-gun people right about now.  It would certainly fall in line with the community in which I was raised.  And, well, I’m not into ‘em…  As someone who’s very anti-violence and anti-war, obviously I don’t like guns.  But somehow I’m not terrified of right-to-carry laws.  Admittedly, I haven’t really done all my homework on it – but somehow the jurisdiction around guns doesn’t get me very upset.  I hate that they exist… but they’re here, you know?  I can’t change that.  So if we’re going to be a society that has guns, then by all means, let’s make some laws about them.  I may disagree with laws certain areas choose, but fine, whatever the majority of a city or a state wants – agree to it and let’s go from there. 

To me, the key component is: what does “let’s go from there” look like?  That’s where I get upset. Look at what people do with guns.  And yes, we all know I’m talking about the recent horrific school shootings.  But that’s not all I’m talking about.  I’m talking about gang violence, too.  Crimes and robberies.  I’m talking about all the unspeakable things people can be made to do at gunpoint.  Our country collectively lacks spirituality, responsibility for our actions, perspective about how other countries live, and most of all – healthy, acceptable ways to deal with horrible things.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Pay It Forward

I boarded my morning CTA bus the other day, swiped the ol' transit card linked to my checking account, and overheard the girl behind me anxiously ask the bus driver if there was a way to pay with credit card.  When the answer was no, she sounded defeated and said, "Okay..." and started to exit the bus.  I turned. "Wait," I said. "I've got you." She hesitated, and asked "Are you sure?"  I replied, "Yeah no problem."  I raised an eyebrow and my card at the driver. Wordlessly, he hit a button on the fare machine so I could use my same card for a new fare.  "Thank you SO much," the girl said to me with relief and gratitude in her voice.  I waved it off and said, "People have helped me before." And I moseyed on to sit down and start my morning makeup-application-on-the-bus routine.

As I put on my eyeshadow, I wondered about that girl's story... Was she in a hurry or running late?  What for?  Where was she going?  And how did she know the CTA well enough to take it on her own somewhere, but not enough to know they don't take charge cards?  Was she having a bad morning?  Could my action have possibly changed the course of her day?  Maybe, maybe not... but I'd like to think yes.  

See, a few years ago, someone changed the course of my day in a similar situation...  

Monday, October 22, 2012

Morning Sad

Clouds move like rippling water outside the plane window.  Dark sky – sunrise starting, ever so slightly on the horizon line – a thin line of bright against dark, color slightly different at each glance.  Dark accented by light.  Emotional clouds, sea-like. 

Thank goodness sunrises are gradual.  Daylight is a wonderful thing, but going from night to day in an instant would be way too harsh, way too overwhelming.  Some of the more beautiful things in this world are subtle – the accent candlelight lends to a room, the crunch of fall leaves, the smell of rain, a lover’s soft touch on the skin... 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Love and X-Men

I’m into X-Men.  I have two younger brothers and when we were growing up, X-Men was a big part of our Saturday morning cartoons, and a big part of the comic books that entered our house.  There weren’t many life interests I shared in common with my brothers – I certainly didn’t catch the sports bug – but X-Men, X-Men I liked.  Each Saturday morning, I happily ate my cereal alongside my brothers when they flipped the channel to X-Men (Ghostbusters, too, obviously) – and I would always read their X-Men comics after they finished with them.  The Dark Phoenix Saga was my favorite storyline, and I am pretty sure I had a crush on Gambit.

It’s fun to talk X-Men nowadays – a) because I like it when guys are surprised and impressed at my knowledge of X-Men, and b) because it’s just a fun, throwback thing to talk about.  Inevitably when you get into an X-Men conversation with someone, at some point the question comes up: “Who would you want to be if you were an X-Man?”  GREAT question – a lot of fun to think about and discuss.  Everyone wants to be Wolverine or Jean Grey or hell, maybe Mystique or Night Crawler.  And look, I’ll happily have that conversation with you if you’d like – but you know what conversation no one has?  “Which X-Man ARE you?”  Which is, as they say, a horse of a different color...