San Fran & San Diego Trip: 2011 Begins...

[Jan 4th - 9th, 2011]

There's something about a wall of golden skulls that gets you thinking about life... and death.  Actually, in the last couple of years, I've kind of become obsessed with death - not in a creepy, morbid way - but in the sense of being in awe of it.  Of not really understanding it, but wanting to.  Wanting to look it in the eye and have conversations with it.  So it's fitting that I find myself in this secret, hidden bar in San Diego - with a drink list written in a treasure map type font - with a ceiling of victorian painted portraits, a beautiful chandelier, two bartenders in vests… and an entire wall of golden skulls.  After my server helps me decide upon a champagne, gin, and muddled raspberry cocktail - it is definitely time for my thoughts to take over…  

On a side note, I'm currently on a plane as I write this, and have just ordered an alcoholic beverage from the flight attendant.   [flying home now, sadly]  She's checking my ID, and I can see her computing my age - and as she realizes that I'm 28, she says, "Wow" - and hands me back my ID.  I smile wryly and say "Yes, I know."  YES.  I am aware that I am a 28 year old that looks 16.  Story of my damn life.  I suppose it's funny how I'm still irked every time someone points out that I don't look my age - you'd think by now I'd be at peace with it.

And believe you me, it's not that I'm in a hurry to age.  But I wish if I were going to look so young, I could just stay young.  I'm angry, really.  I'm angry at… time?  I feel entitled to have time, years - suspended for my situation.  Shouldn't I be allowed to remain in my young twenties until I start looking older than that?  Each year that passes where I haven't found love, where I haven't yet fully grasped the concept of loving myself even - each year breaks my heart.  Sometimes I just want to burst into tears and yell "STOP!"  Just everything, stop.  Let me be frozen here for awhile.  Stop all the clocks - because they're moving too quickly.  I'm scared I'm going to wake up one day and be 80 - and still feel the pain of aloneness and self-inflicted mistreatment.  I'm afraid and I'm hurting and really sort of depressed about it.

But what can I do except journey on?  My only option, really, is to create as much life excitement as I can - and to continue to challenge myself as much as possible.  There's just nothing else to do.  So when I was asked to kick off 2011 by going on a work trip to California - a state that has been calling to me ever since a brief visit in 2007, I decided to extend the trip for some self-journey time.  The itinerary?  Two days in Oakland for work.  A day and a half in San Francisco - for both some alone time and to visit an adorable, pregnant married couple.  And finally, two days in San Diego - a city I've never been - with no one but myself.  

Oakland: Tues Jan 4 - Weds Jan 5

The training I conducted in Oakland is not really worth getting into too much detail about, but I will say that I rocked it.  I will say that I'm good at my job.  Not sure if that comes across as arrogant, but I think it's important to take pride in what you do and what you are good at.  I am a wonderful trainer - and there is no greater [work-related] joy for me, than to end a 3 hour training session and have hourly team members come up to me afterwards and tell me how much they got out of the training and how great it was.  Thank you to people who pass good feedback along in this world - you are what make life worth living.  

The other people who make life worth living are those who really think about others - who go out of their way to be good to others.  My co-worker and I were originally slated to stay at a hotel in Oakland, near the facility we'd be working at.  Just before our trip, one of the managers on site took it upon himself to change our hotel reservation to a swanky hotel in downtown San Francisco, because he had friends there (so could get us a good rate) - and because he thought we'd enjoy our trip more being closer to nightlife and great restaurants.  He also took it upon himself to pick us up from the airport and to take us to and from our hotel to Oakland each day.  One of the evenings, he even showed us around and took us to some great places.  He wasn't hitting on us, he only barely knew us - but it mattered to him that we enjoy our time there.  [Don't worry, he's getting a serious thank you from us.]  

Our hotel was called Hotel Adagio and was so pretty and lovely.  We were just a couple blocks from Union Square and many great, fun things. During our off-time, we experienced two amazing restaurants - Sauce and Zuni Cafe.  We got to hang out at this tiny neighborhood bar called Marlena's - that had a ton of personality and zest.  And we also got drinks at this swanky place called Absinthe.  Some food highlights included bacon-wrapped meatloaf, crab wontons, and tomato bisque soup with truffle oil - not to mention a Zinfandel that I just wanted to go swimming in [Sauce] - and a pork roast dish at Zuni that absolutely changed my life.  I should also mention that I don't really care for Absinthe [the liquor], in general.  Or anise-flavored things, I should say - though I am glad I got a drink with it in it, while at a place called Absinthe.  In addition to Absinthe, my cocktail had pomegranate and gin in it and was called "Sacred Heart".  [I'm a sucker for a great name. And for anything pomegranate - due to its ties to Greek mythology and how cool the experience of taking apart a pomegranate is.]  Also, the bonding time with my co-worker was much appreciated.  That, and waking up feeling like a princess two days in a row, due to the lovely hotel room and lovely hotel bed - with sunlight streaming in.  That too, was much appreciated.  

San Fran: Thurs Jan 6 - Fri Jan 7

So upon waking up on Thursday, it was a great feeling to know that my free time had begun.  That night I would be staying with the aforementioned adorable pregnant couple, but they both had work  until 5pm or so, so for the daytime, the world was my oyster.  Also, the foodie in me had decided that after the last two nights, I really needed to keep up the trend of eating well on this trip.  [My pocket book might only slightly agree that this was a good decision, but my stomach - to this day, it will day applaud the decision.]  As I checked out of the lovely hotel, I asked the gentleman at the hotel front desk for lunch advice.   [My Achilles heel is that I simply cannot arise early to save my life, so it was around noon that this all took place.]  I headed through Union Square towards a french restaurant called Cafe Claude for lunch.  Union Square had an ice skating!  But though I was severely tempted to participate, $13 seemed like a lot to spend on something I could do back in Chicago - so I opted just to watch and smile for a brief bit.  [The ice looked rather rough anyway.]   Then on to lunch… To my delight, Cafe Claude was located tucked away in a quaint, alley way entrance - it felt like a secret find, though the busy, bustling lunch time it had showed that it was a secret many worked to find.  My table for one definitely took a good 10-15 minute wait, which worked well as I needed that time for menu studying.  

For lunch I had a nicoise salad (includes rare tuna - YUM!) - which I've been deprived of since my French restaurant in Chicago took theirs off their menu.  I also indulged in a glass of Sauvignon Blanc - because it is so rare that I can drink at lunch!  [One day when I am a famous, self-employed travel writer - this novelty will probably wear off, but as I am now a 9-5 drone (who sleeps-in on weekends!), these moments are few and far between].  And then, because, quite plainly, I deserve it  - especially on a trip designed to honor who I am and that I myself, am enough - I ordered espresso and dessert.  A delicious creme brulee… that was a generous enough size that I didn't need to eat it all, but I sure did.

Pleased with myself, I wandered back out into the streets of San Francisco, happy as a clam.  The plan now was to walk to Coit Tower via Chinatown - a plan I'd consulted with my co-worker on, before she left town.  As a former San Fran resident, I valued her opinions and advice.  

My path was not too structured, on purpose - so I  could stop and just see things as they presented themselves to me.  First a park on the outskirts of Chinatown - where I sat on a bench for a moment, and contemplated a woman who was hammering some type of nuts on the sidewalk - also birds, statues, and flowers.  Then I stopped in a small church for a moment in prayer - also on the outskirts of Chinatown.  

Then the main streets of Chinatown.  I'd solicited lots of Cali advice from friends before this trip, and one woman had told me that, walking in San Fran's Chinatown, you really could convince yourself that you were in another country.  I'd have to agree :)  I didn't purchase anything, but I did wander into a store or two - and loved all the energy and other-world-ness I got to take in.  Also, more streets should be decorated with paper lanterns, I must say.  Lovely.   

Then as Chinatown died off, the streets started increasing in upwards incline.  As I walked up towards Telegraph Hill and Coit Tower, I found myself thinking that no treadmill incline could really prepare anyone for walking around San Francisco.  Impressive… My hat is off to the locals that do these walks everyday.  

After a few rest breaks, I found myself atop Telegraph Hill at Coit Tower.  Gorgeous views of the city - birds chirping, and me, I felt content.  It was so important to me to just take all this in… On this day, walking around San Francisco, I felt my soul heal in small ways.  There were just moments when I would need to breathe a little deeper and inhale more air than normal.  As I walked down the streets from Coit Tower, I felt sure that I could live in this city.  Not too many places other than one's home command that sort of feeling - but for me, San Francisco does.  That feeling remained with me as I walked around - to Washington Square, to a coffee and truffle store - to Grace Cathedral - and back to my hotel to pick up my bags.  San Francisco owns a small part of my heart, and I will always remember that day with myself.  

Now to meet my friends - and that, that required a journey on BART - the public transportation train system there.  I'd been on it briefly in my 2007 trip, but never by myself - but I'd like to think of myself as a public-trans-saavy individual and I was excited to do it on my own.  All in all it went well - was easy.  The only snafu was my error in walking directions once I got off and walked to my friends' place.  But I figured it out and only got a little more exercise than planned :)  

Luke and Nicole are a lovely couple.  I've know Luke since grade school - he and I were church nerds together :)  Meaning - choir, youth group - church every Sunday for our adolescent years.  We lived near each other, and our parents took turns driving us back and forth from our church-related activities - and later when he & I became driving age, we'd take turns driving each other.  He's a bundle of energy at all times - and from good people.  His wife Nicole he met in college, and she has always been so warm and friendly to me.  I've admired their journey together - they lived in Chicago, survived a couple months of long distance when he moved to Seattle for a job, then she joined him out there - they got married - and then a few years ago moved to San Francisco - where he works at Facebook and she's a first grade teacher at a spanish/english immersion school.  Maestra Nicole :)  So cool.  They love visitors and are very gracious hosts.  Since I stayed with them in 2007, they've bought a condo and are expecting their first baby in March.  

Their condo is really lovely - great amount of space, hardwood floors (my fave) - great colors, two bed, two bath, pretty kitchen.  Not tons of people own in San Fran, so I totally respect them for figuring it out there.  It's so cool to see them in pre-baby mode.  He's obviously very involved in the pregnancy, as the man should be :) - and takes great care of his preggo wife.  Also they have an adorable dog that I got to hang with, too :)  Facebook has a free, private shuttle service from Palo Alto to San Fran (why not, eh?) haha - so we met Luke at a restaurant near his shuttle stop, called Spork.  I got an inside-out-burger with smashed potatoes that was completely delish.  Then on the way home, we grabbed some ice cream from a place they knew of - a salted caramel ice cream… totally yum.    After a little hanging out, a baby swaddling practice session (- ha!), and a late night dog walk to two parks - one of which was called Holly Hill! - then it was time for bed.  

In the morning, it was rush time to get work (I really appreciated them hosting me on a weeknight) - we dropped Maestra Nicole off at her school, and then I got to accompany Luke to Facebook.  AWESOME.  I got a tour, we had breakfast there (tell you what - work cafeterias are absolutely the way to go), got a picture of two (or twenty)… Then a quick visit to Google because Luke has a friend there.  After getting to drive the Holodeck (essentially, Google Earth but in 3D and with a joystick) - it was time for me to go to the airport.  I'd booked my flight to San Diego out of San Jose per Luke's recommendation, and he was kind enough to drive me there.  Facebook seems like an awesome employer.  Luke and Nicole are SUPER awesome hosts, and it was great to see them.

San Diego: Fri Jan 7 - Sun Jan 9

Final destination: San Diego.  A much less glamorous hotel awaited me - a Holiday Inn, but I got a great rate and it was on the Bay, not too far from the hopping area of Downtown San Diego - the Gaslamp Quarter.  Plus it had a shuttle to the airport and a few other destinations.  After checking in, I immediately sat down to do some final sorting of all the San Diego advice I'd gotten from friends.  A plan strategized, I finally emerged just prior to sunset  - which was a lovely thing to see, while walking down the Bay.  

Dinner was my destination, but I was on the early end, and wanted to do some good wandering prior to getting there.  I made it down to Seaport Village - got a fish taco to tide me over, and to say that I had - as San Diego fish tacos were highly reviewed by all.  Then I continued wandering, made it over to Gaslamp and - boy, what energy over there!  I feel like maybe Jersey Shore could house here sometime :)  The restaurant I'd decided on was one of the more well-reviewed ones on Yelp - called Searsucker.  They were completely booked with reservations, but had some first come first serve seating options, and luckily I was on the earlier end of the evening still.  They tried to put me at one of the bar tables, but it was super loud - and I asked if there were any options.  Luckily there was!  They sat me at some raised seating by their open-kitchen.  I was the first one to be seated there, but as the meal went on, the area around me filled up.  My server was only okay - but a great thing about my seat was that I was directly across from their pastry chef's work station.  She was really pleasant and it was the slow part of her evening, so I appreciated being able to talk to her.  After my amazing courses (I got three small plates - an arugula salad, a tuna dish, and an egg/pork belly/hollandaise/brioche creation that again, changed my life) - after all that, she Chef Rachel the Pastry Queen, made me a dessert sampler that was exquisite.  Red velvet, white chocolate, and pop rocks!  And then also Peanut Butter, Caramel, and Ice Cream with small bits of bacon in it.  Crazy.  And frickin awesome.  

Happy as a clam - yet again, I wandered out into the streets - some time to kill until my reservation at the super secret speakeasy bar at 9pm.  I wandered stores and streets - and stumbled upon a singing & dancing group of people.  I stopped to watch - and got approached by a representative - they were Hare Krishnas.  Knowing this would be marketing/sales pitch, I almost wasn't going to let him talk to me, but then I figured, eh, why not?  I love that they're singing and dancing with such exuberance, and I have some time.  He showed me a book, and talked to me about Krishna and this life not being out about our body or our material possessions.  He tried to give me the book, but I figured I would then probably need to give him money, and let's be serious, I wasn't going to read it :)  When I turned down the book, he wanted to give me a pamphlet - still, no thanks, but with a smile - and then finally he did convince me to take a flyer.  I think I'll save it.  I must say, I've never seen the likes of a group like that - especially not religion based.  Still smiling, I wandered on - and finally, it was 9pm.

There is a speakeasy bar in Chicago that I adore, and a friend I took to it once had given me a similar recommendation if I ever went to San Diego.  I'd gotten very thorough instructions from him - that included making a reservation a week out via text message, instructions on where to locate the "cover" bar Neighborhood, and finally, instructions on how to find the secret door in the back to get in.  Pretty. damn. cool.  

The description I've provided you with already - but I don't know if you can understand how magical the place felt.  Maybe you can.  But I was so glad to be there.  I watched the other people in the bar (mostly couples) - I enjoyed my drink and the scenery - and then, finally, I had to get out my notebook.  I just needed to write down some life priorities, some thoughts… The skulls compelled me to do some soul searching.  I thought about death again… the journey I've seen others in my life take after death claiming a loved one from their life.  Over the past couple years, I've walked the cemeteries of Paris, of New Orleans… learned of the New Orleans jazz funeral tradition, researched the Mexican tradition of Dia de los Muertos… wandered San Antionio for Dia de los Muertos, purchased Dia de los Muertos skeletons… and now, a wall of golden skulls in my face… Even my love of the pomegranate is death-related, in terms of its Greek mythology story.  Someone very important to me is about to begin a life chapter where the components of death will be just as prominent as will be the components of life.  What do you do with that?  Maybe death and life are more closely intertwined than many of us realize or can see…  And maybe if we all were more conscious of death - not a as a scary thing, but as a sneaky, magical, inevitable and uncontrollable thing - maybe we'd all live our life differently.  Am I living my life as best I can?  Am I treating myself the way I should - am I making choices as if today were the only day that mattered?  I'd like to think I am… but I bet I could be doing more for myself, for my life.  When I was at Facebook with Luke, they had made all these inspirational posters, and Luke was like, here, let me give you something to take as a souvenir, and the random poster he randomly grabbed and gave me, had a quote on it that I've valued since reading it in a book sometime in college: "What would I do if I weren't afraid?"  What a thought - what a question.  And thank you to the universe for reminding me about it - refocusing me in on it.  And for the moment, you know what - yes, I can be at peace.  Because if I weren't afraid - I would go on a trip to an unfamiliar city completely by myself.  I would go to dine at a restaurant, completely by myself - no book, no smartphone in front of my face.  I would not cringe, but instead calmly say "table for one."  And that's not to say it doesn't feel uncomfortable at first, every time - but one day it won't… and really, I am lovely company.  I value the thoughts I've gotten to have during journeys like this.  Last year it was New Orleans, this year San Diego.  I don't know that I will do a solo trip every year of my life or anything, but hopefully if nothing else, this focus will stay with me.

I know.  I'm getting rather intense for a travel diary.  But well… traveling on your own brings a lot to the surface.  T'was a good day.

Saturday I woke up with the desire to have a gourmet type brunch.  I'd asked Rachel the Pastry Queen the night before about where to go, and she'd recommended a french cafe (yes, please) called Cafe Chloe.  Upon arrival, I knew she'd done me well.  It was an adorable little cafe, reminded me very much of France, and I got a lovely table outside, sun streaming around me, french music in my ears.  I ordered a coffee, a pomegranate mimosa, and to eat - a poached egg with wild mushrooms and sage-truffle beurre blank.  Heaven!  Pure heaven.  Thank you Cafe Chloe - and thank you Chef Rachel.  

Time for street wandering - and then, a journey to Coronado Island!  I do love a good ferry ride - even though they're always chilly.  It's good reflection time.  Once on Coronado Island, I wished I'd researched it a bit more.  I knew I wanted to see the Hotel del Coronado - where "Some Like It Hot" was filmed, the Wizard of Oz may have been inspired from, and many people had recommended I see - but I didn't know it'd be a trek across the island to get to it.  :)  After realizing the local bus wasn't coming for awhile, I found an island cabbie - and got to the Hotel.  Indeed lovely - made me wish I could stay there, to see more of it - as the public can only view the downstairs parts.  I did get some delicious ice cream - that helped :)  Then found a bus to take me back to the ferry.  Staying on this island would only have continued costing me more money, and I had miles to go before I slept.  

Got back to my hotel in time to catch the shuttle to the San Diego Zoo.  No, I didn't go to the Zoo (short trip, and Zoo just didn't make the priority list.  what do you want from me?  I worked at a zoo for a year… Not the craziest about 'em :)  )  But I did want to walk through Balboa Park, which is in that whole area.  Really pretty.  A friend told me the trees there may have been what inspired Dr Seuss, and I can totally see it.  The buildings, too - were so pretty.  Apparently they're all museums and have a ton of things in them, but it was late afternoon, and I'm much more a scenery person than a museum person.  I got some lovely pictures and a great walk.  

I'd planned my walk so as to end up near my dinner location - a restaurant in Banker's Hill called Cucina Urbana.  A Chicago Chef I know had recommended it to me.  As with Searsucker, I managed to find seating for one though they were fully booked - and here, too, I loved the decor.  I found an arugula type salad (boy do I love that green) - and got a dish that Yelpers had recommended - a short rib parpardelle dish… It was good, but didn't change my life the way some other food items on this trip did.  My dessert was a double chocolate mousse, though - and that was damn good.  It was also very interesting to hear the conversations of people around me at the "community table" - which, incidentally, I think is a great thing for popular restaurants to do.  

Finally, I hopped a local bus (- I am so cool.  Also I have an iPhone with Google maps that tells me how to do things like that.  Great thing to have when doing solo travels :) ) in search of a rooftop bar I'd been told was cool, called J-Bar.  It was indeed a cool place.  Fire pits - pool, sort of South Beachy - though, maybe also just San Diego-y.  I ordered a champagne to toast myself on a great trip.  

Then home to bed - and today, pretty much just the journey home.  I am exhausted… and my cat is glad to see me.  Apparently she hissed at the neighbors a lot - little diva that she is.  

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It feels weird that I have work tomorrow, that normal life is upon me.  I hope to God I can readjust to this time zone, because the night owl in me was LOVING Pacific time.  Haha.  Amidst my exhaustion, though, I feel pleased and content.  

I mentioned that while at The Noble Experiment, I got to observe a lot of couples.  One was a caucasian guy with an asian girl.  They had many hushed conversations throughout the night and smiled a lot at each other.  At one point in the middle of the evening, the girl came over to me - and in a small, cute voice asked me if I was a writer.  I laughed - and told her "I wish."  She'd seen me with my stupid little notebook I'd pulled out of my purse - actually, I was clearly flattered to be asked the question. Must mean I could look the part?  We ended up talking awhile - I told her how I felt I needed to figure out more about my life and had planned a trip for myself and had come here on a recommendation and just felt I needed to write things down - document my travels, my thoughts.  She seemed to be impressed - and she said, "I know what you mean.  When you're little, life just seems so simple.  I find as I get older, I realize how much I don't know about myself, about life."  She was so cute - she could have sat next to me, but instead sort of kneeled in front of me - really smiley.  She told me she was taiwanese but had lived in San Diego a number of years.  We talked about San Diego, about this place - I forget what else.  When we were done chatting, I thanked her for coming over and talking - and she hugged me.  I didn't expect it - but it was totally appropriate actually.  She told me I was great and wonderful - and went back to her man.  They left a bit after.  I'm not sure I'd ever have had that experience in my life had I not made this type of journey.  Hopefully I can learn to see myself the way she saw me that night… until then, I'll keep observing the world and find new ways to challenge myself and continue on towards happiness.  

[san francisco pictures]

[san diego pictures]