Confessions of a Night Owl

[February 2011]

I am many things - but I am absolutely NOT a morning person.  

I'm just so functional at night!  Around the time 11pm rolls around, most of you sane, normal people are climbing into bed, but me?  That's when I get some of my best creative ideas.  It’s around that time that I’m hit with some great idea and the energy to follow it through.  Sometimes it’s writing, sometimes decoupage… to create a unique, crafty gift for someone… to watch a movie and sort through piles that have been building up on my desk – all sorts of options.  Maybe make a mix CD… In that magical window of time between 11pm and 2am, the world is my oyster.

Often, I'll give in.  And even if I'm not giving in to some sort of big project, I find that the small things that I "need" to do before bed, end up taking enough time that I look at the clock, and *poof!* - it's midnight.  I just don't get tired for bed the way normal people do - I'm so much more interested in doing many things other than sleep when it comes to bedtime.

Fast forward, now, to the morning.  You guessed it: I’m as bad about waking up on time as I am about going to bed on time.  When the alarm goes off in the morning, I find myself in a very strange state of mind.  Any goal I had the night before about when I would wake up completely goes out the window.  Anything that seemed worth getting up for – making a certain lunch to bring to work, spending a little extra time picking out my outfit – delusions of hitting up a gym (HA!) – nothing that was important to me when I went to bed is important to me anymore.  All that matters to Morning Holly (yes, I’ve named her) is sleeping as late as she can get away with.  [True story:  I’ve even tried leaving post-its next to my alarm clock, reminding Morning Holly WHY she needs to get up at a certain hour… but Morning Holly has successfully discounted those notes every single time.]

As long as I can remember, I've always loved sleeping in - always, always.  There's something about the peace I find in my morning bed, that is so alluring that I never want to leave.  See, I have one of those minds that is always running on hyperdrive, but in the morning, it’s actually still – it’s the one time of day that it is, in fact.  In that foggy state of not-quite-yet awakeness, I’m the queen of both the snooze button and of rationalization.  It's a surreal plane of existence.  And I never want to leave it. 

As a result, I've always hated alarm clocks.  HATED.  They're loud, and disruptive, and jarring - they're always the WORST noises… and they ruin EVERYTHING.  I've tried a variety of things to improve my relationship with them and their effectiveness with me, and not much has worked.  I currently have an alarm that sounds like cathedral bells, and thank god - because it makes mornings a little bit easier.  In my state of not-yet-awakeness, I can pretend I'm in Europe or something, and that a real life cathedral is waking me up.  *sigh*

All this in mind – the night owl-ness, the hatred of alarm clocks, the ever-present desire to sleep in – well, you can imagine: it's rather inconvenient for me to have a 9-5 office job as my profession.  I mean, I actually like my job – but that doesn’t help me get up any earlier.

To attempt to make things easier on Morning Holly, I do everything I can at night, to make my mornings go faster.  I shower at night.  I prepare my lunches at night.  [If I were smart, I'd pick my outfits out the night before.]  And finally - Night Owl Confession Numbero Uno:

I do my makeup on the bus to work every morning.  Yup, I'm THAT girl on the CTA.

Nor am I exaggerating, by the way; this is my routine EVERY morning.  The basics, yes - eyeliner, eyeshadow, concealer, etc - but first, EYELASH CURLER.  People do a lot of things on the bus – listen to music loudly, talk on the phone loudly, read books, read newspapers – and yes, some put on makeup – but those other makeup-ers can fly under the radar, because they’re just touching up.  Me, I’ve got a makeup kit with me.  And that eyelash curler alone makes me stand out.  It’s a serious-makeup-person tool and to those who are unfamiliar with it – I get it, it kind of looks like an eye torture device.  There are probably a number of poor male souls who I’ve scared the daylights out of on a morning commute.  Sorry buddies – but I need it!  It’s actually my favorite makeup-related item; it is able to magically “open” my sleepy eyes and helps me to look more awake.  Plus it helps show off my lovely eyelashes :)  [Yes, I have eyelash pride.]

Anyone who is familiar with the dynamics of a bus ride OR of the condition of Chicago streets, is probably wondering, at this point, HOW I manage to successfully pull off the makeup-on-the-bus routine each morning.  With five plus years of experience, I can tell you - it's an art.  And I'm a master. 

The first step of makeuping-on-the-bus is to get a good size travel makeup bag for your life.  [i.e. small enough to fit in your purse, but large enough to hold all the makeup items you'll need.]  Mine is actually pretty substantial, since it's not really my "travel" makeup bag so much as it's just… my makeup bag.  5 times out of 7, if I'm doing makeup - it's on the go, on the bus, so I gots everything I need in there [- including color options, tweezers, pencil sharpener (no, not while on the bus), etc.]  It probably contributes to about 50% of the weight of my purse in general.  And it’s worth every ounce.

Once you have a makeup bag that works for you and makeup bag contents that work for you (- you'll develop it best over time), you then need to decide where to SIT on the bus.  This part is key.  We CTA commuters all have favorite seats anyway, so I assume many of you can relate to this part, if nothing else.   For me, I prefer the window seats in any face-forward two-seater.  Window because, if I'm by the window, no one will unexpectedly have their stop come up and let me know last minute, and make me juggle all the things I'm holding while getting up to allow them to rush off the bus.  [One does, however, get good at "reading" the passenger next to them, to determine if they have a stop coming up.]  But also I like window because I never know if I'm a nuisance to my seat-mate - so I feel much better if they choose to join me in my two-seater (when I have the coveted window spot) than if I join them, and start whipping out my makeup bag.

Next, picking a face-forward seat is helpful, because the alternative are side seats or backward-facing seats, which mean that more people are able to look at you.  When you're in a two-seater facing forward, you're in less people's line of vision - ESPECIALLY if there are people sitting directly in front of you.  THAT is perfect. 

Why, do you ask, do I care about being looked at?  Aren't I the queen of attention?  Well yes, often in life, I am.  But not here – partially because of my aforementioned worry that my eyelash curler is startling to on-lookers, but also because… I don't know… I hope to one day meet a cute stranger on the bus - and I don't want him seeing me mid-makeup.  I mean, really, I don’t think anyone is attractive mid-makeup… definitely not Morning Holly.  Plus, romance interest aside, it's hard to have a conversation while putting on makeup – so even seeing friends on the morning bus ride isn't ideal.  [Ride home is just fine – for friends and romantic-stranger encounters.]

Finally, the biggest question on your mind - how does one apply things like eyeliner or mascara on a moving vehicle, navigating the bumpy streets of Chicago?  Here is the TRUE art of it all.  You get so you know your roads, yes - like, which parts are more bumpy than others… But you also get so you can anticipate bumps, as well.  And this I can't describe - maybe you'll have to sit next to me one day on a bus and I can talk you through it?  But really, when you sense bumpy-ness, or even potential bumpy-ness, you just lower your hand and let the bus do its thang.  Once things smooth out, you continue right on with business.  (Red lights, needless to say, are very much your friend, in this scenario.)  These techniques can also be applied to makeup application while in a car, as well (- though for passengers, not drivers, obviously).  I've done many a car-makeup-application in my day, too. Road bumps are road bumps, and they can be anticipated. 

So clearly, I’ve got some skills.  I've never had a weird makeup smear result from bus-makeuping or car-makeuping.  I take a lot of pride in what I do.  (In fact, I clearly remember one time being in the car with an ex: he was driving, I was putting on makeup in the passenger seat, and he warned me that there were some bumps coming up - and instead of saying “thanks”, I haughtily replied that I didn't need his help, I was an expert….  Bragging about makeup-application on-the-go skills?  Who do I think I am?  The coolest city chick ever, that's who.  I make no apologies.)

But yes, 18 minutes on the CTA, and I'm all set – ready to take on the day.  No need to wake up earlier and no need to do it in front of my co-workers at my desk.  I show up looking like, well, maybe a morning person?  Now if only I could figure out lovely hairdos I could create while on the bus…